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Chronicle of the NonPop Revolution


 
The Essay
Show #30
Music for Paramedics
David Gunn
Bon radio. Although Wilhelm Grimm and Noel Coward never met, and although they were ostensibly as different as two ionized Prozac isomesons are alike, and even though Grimm, who checked out 40 years before Coward was born, reportedly didn't even like Coward, the two gentlemen shared something other than their names in common, which was tea. Not that they actively liked or disliked it, rather they both laid claim to a huge collection of it, and both collections happened to be the same collection. This anecdote is presented today in honor of the 222nd anniversary of the Boston Scone and Tea Party, which simultaneously took place in Tonsilheim, Sweden, home of the Adventures of King Gustavus the Second, which will have been discussed during a previous show.

At any rate, welcome to Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour Expansive. In today's episode, #30, we will examine and discuss the history of the problem -- I mean program -- and attempt to plot its future direction. Given recent meteorological upheaval in the area, southwest would be a direction amenable to many here in the studio.

In its earliest days, the show was broadcast from a mobile recording shed which was towed behind a snowmachine in a nine mile sesquicircular loop of Plainburg, south on Route 214, west on 2, and northeast on 14, just to find the best spot for radio reception. Even before then we were preparing for the program, practicing the interview segments by suddenly asking one another totally irrational questions, then running away before an answer could be dredged up. The first show last May was not without opening day jitters, to say nothing of the utter lack of snack provisions, a deficiency which sadly has yet to be remedied. Nevertheless, the program soldiered on, bivouacking at 91.1 FM for 90, then 120 minutes each Saturday. The shows were not skirmish free, as electrical trauma befell the station transmitter from time to time, and musical guests did not always appear, or, if they did, lacked what we in the interview trade term as "anything remotely interesting to say." Episode #17 featured our first live feed from Studio Z with a rambunctious and frequently absent piano player named Rip. As the program's character improved, so did the desire for catering, a craving which remains unslaked to this day, which coincidentally is the fourth anniversary of Nunavut independence day.

Thus the Sesqui and New! Improved! SesquiPlus Hours have been saturating the local Saturday afternoon airwaves with music that you wouldn't normally hear in an elevator for over 3,000 minutes now. Three thousand two hundred forty-five, to be precise, though precision is not what this show is about. Rather, the show is about tones and a- tones and the relationship they have with food and beverage and our present lack of same, and, for the moment at least, has nothing whatsoever to do with le flambeau oriange, which will be discussed later, maybe next week. Over three thousand minutes: the equivalent of 55 Melrose Places, or over 69 Fugitives, if you deduct commercial interruption, which we gladly do for you. Amazing, isn't it? Of course it is!

This portion of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour Expansive will be available from our radiophonic catalogue in molecularly homogenized listenable snippet format just as soon as circumstances warrant. Availability is slightly higher in some markets.

And speaking of listenable snippets, next week's special pre-holiday episode will likely feature part 6 of "The Best of the Sesquihour," presenting the most listenable snippets from episodes 26 through 30 -- ten hours carefully distilled into 6½ entertaining minutes so you won't have to!

And as for minutes 3,247 through 3,252, let us turn to the disembodied studio voice of Halvos.