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Chronicle of the NonPop Revolution


 
The Essay
Show #41
Whodunnit?
David Gunn
Bon radio. It's Whodunnit Day on Episode 41 of the Sesquihour in which you, our listening audient, can match wits with our Research and Development New Music Junta, assuming that both parties' wits are not currently strewn on the floor by the refrigerator, as happened earlier. It's Whodunnit Day because today's featured guest formerly played the drum kit with the fine late musical ensemble, The Who. Yes, we're mighty delighted to have Keith Moon on the show today, especially in light of his recent death. Later, we'll ask him about playing Ann-Margaret in the movie version of "Tommy," an opera about rocks and other geological wonders of the musical ether.

Anyway, here's how Whodunnit works. I'll read a mystery anecdote in which several important clues are lurking. By utilizing deductive reasoning as well as the handy Kalvos & Damian decoder ring, available soon at finer radio outlets everywhere, you should be able to solve the puzzle and win the prize, should there be one. Here's number one.

Dinah Shore and Harry Belafonte were engaged in a heated game of Whiskers six-draw, their fingers twitching digital codes to their handlers, D.H. Lawrence and Philip, respectively. The game's card sharpener, Danny Kominsky, had twice put keen edges on all of the fours in the deck, and he was not anticipating any further action. But he had not counted on D.H.'s familiarity with pluperfect Moroccan Rules. As Philip whispered strategems vaguely in Harry's direction, D.H. grabbed the rope, twirled it, and flung it over the sheep's head in the adjoining room, all the while flawlessly reciting a rodent doggerel. Over Philip's protestations, Danny proclaimed D.H. poet lariat for the day and was about to award the team 10 jokers draw when a shadowy figure abruptly sprang from under the deck and swatted Dinah's cards from her hand. Philip instantly claimed forty face card fandango, and the game was suddenly Harry's! Who was the shadowy figure?

Mystery #2. Marc, Tom, Simon, Kurt and Bedrich sit at separate tables in a cantina in Texas, ten dusty miles from Mexico. Each is wanted for questioning by the police, and each has ordered take-out. While they wait, they fidget. Kurt fusses with his hair, which has been recently pomaded and smells of bay scallops. Marc imagines everyone else in the world doing deep knee bends, while he is instead taking out the trash. Tom repeatedly empties his pockets of silverware, aligns them on the table, then scoops them up and jams them back in his pockets. Simon eyes the others from a tiny hole in the back of his neck through which he can also detect semi-lethal W-rays. And Bedrich ... wait a moment. What happened to Bedrich? He's gone! Where has he gone?

Mystery #3. Two guys sit hunched over microphones in a radio station with shadowy ties to le flambeau oriange. One rails at the unconscionable treatment of the avant- garde in today's family values marketplace. The other searches for food scraps in the studio waste bin. Their radio attire might make J.R. Crew yearn for retirement. Who are they?

The answer to all three questions is Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour, this portion of which is being brought to you by Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour, who invite you to listen to Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour if you aren't already doing so.

Coming up is "The Best of the Sesquihour, mark 8," in which episodes 36 through 40 have been run through the musical cuisinart and spat back out into six minutes worth of listenable snippets. Before that, however, it's Keith Moon, and before that it's Glenn Miller, and before that -- even before Dinah can retrieve her cards -- it's Kalvos.