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Chronicle of the NonPop Revolution


 
The Essay
Show #46
Report From Belgium
David Gunn
In anticipation of American Daylight Savings Time, which begins soon, today's episode of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour will be delayed one hour. Please tune in again in one hour for the beginning of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour.

I'm sorry. The previous statement was in error. The statement should have said, "due to the time impediments of American Daylight Savings Time, which begins tomorrow, today's episode of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour started one hour ago. You are now listening to the second half of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour. The first half, which will have been pluperfectly broadcast by the time you hear this announcement, will be repeated immediately following the conclusion of the show. We regret any confusion this may have caused, may be causing, or will seem to cause in the future."

For those of you who had tuned in in anticipation of "The Best of the Sesquihour, mark 9," in which radiophonic snippets from episodes 41 through 45 were to have been juxtaposed, baked and served in a tastefully listenable format, we regret to inform you that, due to the recent poaching of electronic equipment necessary to the production of the "Best Of" feature aboard a moving public conveyance, the plunderee is currently unable to fiddle with the programs' auditory electrons and coax them from point A, the recorded medium, to point B, today's episode. Should conditions one day warrant otherwise -- and they'd better -- the "Best Of" feature will be presented at that time. A massive helden-besten, combining mark 9 with mark 10 on May 11th, is not out of the question. So there.

Gaspard F. Tournachon was a lively personality, it is true. But to imply that he was a Belgian would be both inaccurate and discombobulating. And, since our recent foray into the introspective little land known as Belgium, Kalvos & Damian have developed a keen interest in what is inaccurate and discombobulating.

Misha Elman was neither inaccurate nor discombobulating, but Zog the 1st of Albania was. Harold Edgerton was not inaccurate but he was discombobulating, as were Lowell Thomas, Albert Roussel and Andre Previn. Howard Hughes and P.T. Barnum were often inaccurate but the measure of their discombobulation is conjecturable. Ravi Shankar and Merle Haggard -- perhaps the first time these two gents' names will appear in the same sentence -- prefer they be questioned about baseball. Billy Holiday, who would've been 81 tomorrow, wondered in hindsight if her parents, who bore her illegitimately, were Belgian. Le flambeau oriange, though often circumspect, is not in and of itself inaccurate. We leave it to our faithful listening audient to decide if it is discombobulating. Please let us know.

This portion of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour may already have been brought to you by this portion of Kalvos &and Damian's New Music Sesquihour. If you are listening to the American Daylight Savings Time portion of the show, then it has already occurred, so please disregard this message in its entirety, save for the bit about Belgium.

But disregard no more. The time has arrived for the pluperfect intrusion of he who in any language except Belgian and one other which I just misplaced can be termed Kolvas.