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Chronicle of the NonPop Revolution


 
The Essay
Show #56
The New Music Restaurant
David Gunn
Bon radio. Thanks to the generosity of listeners like you -- not you, but like you -- our fund-raising campaign for the Bosnian relief effort has been a resounding success. We have raised enough money to send nearly 15,000 bottles of Diet Coke to the refugees in that tussle-ravaged land. As an added bonus, each recipient gets to keep and eventually redeem his or her bottle. So from all of us here at the Sesquistudio, we say to our overseas oft-trounced brethren and cistern with those multisyllabically unpronounceable names, take heart. And have a Coke; it's as real a thing as you're likely to see for a while.

This message has been brought to you by the same bottler that supplies Kalvos & Damian's New Music Restaurant, now open for business and located adjacent the elegant lobby of the new radiophonic mall in the heart of downtown Plainfield. The mall, for those of you who haven't yet visited it, is the showpiece of Keystone Realty Corporation's mid- Vermont Estates, a promising exercise in developmental and speculative cooperatives, whose time in the Green Mountain State is come. If you've put off planning for the future, why not look into Keystone Realty's wide assortment of investment strategies. One is certain to be right for you. The K&D, meanwhile, also features a wide assortment, but of prefabricated and color-coordinated food items served on edible parchment menus. Come sample cottage industry cheeses from Nova Scotia. Dare the well-stocked sesqui-kitchens to run out of hibachi cleaner. Enjoy fancy pawwork from classically-trained dancing bears during Entertainment Hour, every night from 7 to 7:45. Swelter in the refurbished Aztec Pomeroy Sweat Lodge as real indians from Cleveland proficiently attend to your every knees. Luncheon prices are competitive and bartering is welcome, so stop by today. Pantry tours are available on a first-come first-served basis. The K&D -- bon jaune ver!

This portion of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour -- no longer referred to in radiophonic tabloids as "soon is a quaver muscle in a dawn skid hums," due to a sudden yen for brevity -- and harboring sesquintro words 319 to 424, contains no apocryphal announcements, misstatements of fact or pejorative disclaimers, other than the regret that, for the first time in 14 episodes, le flambeau oriange will not be mentioned, and if it is, will be done so in such a way as to minimize the phrase's impact on all but the most ... oh, never mind.

It is at this point in the program that allusions are frequently made to winning hands of Whiskers six-draw or musical disease classifications or the callisthenically-challenged pupils of Nadia Boulanger, or even the arcane results of didactically elliptical reasoning, which would have produced the frivolous anagram "as civil as a burlesque aardvark to a gummy raccoon more to a Jim Hatch moovage" out of today's selected list of Che Guevara, Burl Ives, Yamagata Aritomo, Salvatore Quasimodo and John McCormack. Yes, that's what often happens, but won't today, because ... oh, never mind. Hey Kalvos, are you still awake? If not, why not? And if so, can you prove it?